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Rumors
(September 16, 2024)
Audio Surround Installation
2024




I invited strangers from the bar to my apartment for a party. I rushed back to my apartment to hide from them. I played a recording of party sounds from the roof of my building. I watched them scramble in confusion like mice in a maze. They eventually gave up.

My friend and I collected SD cards from cameras we found at thrift stores. I started making photo albums of these found families united as a new unified mega family.

I volunteered as a human-alarm clock for three weeks. I’d walk a mile to my clients residence every day and use the pit of my stomach to make the most monstrous roar imaginable. My intention was to continue working long-term, but the project had to end abruptly due to some shit I can’t talk about publicly right now because now it’s a legal matter.

I created a Craigslist ad for personalized healing services. The services include persuading clients into believing that they should launch a controversial podcast.

I tried to see if I could finesse free products from boutique stores if put in small orders under the names of A-list celebrities.

I sat on the Broad Street bound J train, and read “Beyond Good and Evil” loudly to fellow passengers.

My friends and I purchased a coffin from Craigslist for an impromptu public sculpture. We filled the coffin with candy, and transported it to the Spring street starbucks.

I taped slices of white bread all over my body and walked across the Robert Moses highway.

We walked through the Financial District looking for a place to have the perfect picnic. We saw a sign that read  “PARK - 100 William Street Only”. However, there was no park, only cars, and my friends and I had to arrange a picnic on the staircase near the parking elevators. But we weren’t alone - we saw a bunch of people eating bagels inside their cars. We congratulated them for participating.

I gave 7 people at Washington Square Park little fig leaves for future luck and prosperity.

I was meeting up with someone from Craigslist. And I had to think of a quick way for her to identify me amongst this heavy crowd. You're always supposed to pick a place with heavytraffic. And you know what I told her, I told her “look for someone dressed like a banker who hates their job.”

I tried to seem relaxed in New York city.

I estimated that I see about 346 people a day on my way to and from work. I spent the whole night before preparing this exact amount of sandwiches. I stood on the corner during rush hour to hand them out, to, you know, brighten up everyone’s day a little. But to my dismay no one fucking ate them.

We found a large frame on the street and placed it around some accidental sculptures, as if they were a still life.

We went to Dimes square and read  “In Defense of the Poor Image” on Instagram live.

We had a garage sale and managed to hide pamphlets concerning the coming apocalypse in all of the items for sale. They’ll find Jesus one way or another.

We held a 6 hour listening party where we only played classic midwest techno. Everyone sat on the floor and no one danced.

Last night I told people things about myself that weren’t true.

I spent a day looking at the kinds of pants people were wearing on the street. And I mean really looking. It's for work mind you i'm not some looney, ima a trend forecaster. But I had the sudden realization that I have the singular authority to dictate what should be the next big pant shape. I then went on to photoshop things I personally found to be cool to pitch at my freelance consultancy meetings. I can be very convincing. I made it seem as if this thing was really  happening with the youth. All this just to get the pants I want made. It's definitely working

I spent two weeks at Herbert von King sitting and waiting for people to talk to me so that I could tell them about Moby Dick and its poetic relation to quantum computing.

We started a podcast based on the nature of silence. Meaning the podcast has no discernable auditory action, or to put it simply you really have to listen to the materiality of what can't be audibly heard, like the world outside of your headphones, or the sound of your macbook overheating. This month we’ve reached a milestone of 7 monthly listeners. Hopefully we can get our patronage up soon.

I called the office of mayor Eric Adams informing them that “something’s in the air” and hung up.

We took all our clothes off and switched the flags we encountered on our walk through residential streets.

I ordered a turkey burger with no bun, mustard and a Sam ADAMS at the soho bistro at John F Kennedy airport

My ex told me he felt so bad that he’s been eating salads without dressing for the last 3 months to punish himself for treating me poorly.

I left 46 plums in the back seat of my cab which I think maybe evened out for the total cost of the fare. That’s all I could spare for that day

I 3D scanned the interior lobby of the Black Rock headquarters uptown to no suspicion.

I walked 2 miles with a  garbage bag full of microchips and a baseball bat. I ended up at the port of New York. Yeah… that place where all the cargo comes in. I took them to the pier and smashed them into pieces one by one.

I built a miniature wall of bricks in front of the Manhattan precinct and spray painted the name George Sorros across the surface.

I brought a conjure bag with me to write “massah” on my landlord's door after getting priced out of my apartment in Detroit.

Something I regret to admit…is my recent obsession, shameful habit…I might add, shameful habit.. I’ve taken a liking to stealing, and reselling guest books from blue chip galleries.

I’ve been getting invited to a lot of parties since I’ve moved here. I decided this string of predictable events would be a great place for me to launch myself into local stardom. Starting in January I’ve started attaching my phone to a chest rig to film my odd behavior at social gatherings. It’s a way for me to keep track of myself, keep myself in check, take note of little idiosyncrasies, and adjust…..evidently. I think maybe the only way this will work out for me is if I keep live-streaming it on twitch. I think I’m on to something brilliant.

I’ve started embedding tracking devices into very shiny expensive items. I like to leave them around in odd places around the city. It’s important to indicate that these items should not be left around willy-nilly. I really just want to explore the potential social life of desirable objects. You never know where they’ll end up. Fortunately I do haha

I walked into a bank and told security that I didn’t like seeing him down. I needed his smile. I believed that it was crucial that everyone in the building knew exactly what my intentions were. Evidently that being to bring happiness to everyone. Everyone should smile more, and spread positive energy.

I was invited to do a reading, and I immediately started to think that maybe the crowd was a bit  too trendy for my liking, and you know, not literary enough. So I opted out of reading my stupid little poem and repeated the same repetitive phrase over and over again being ,”everyone is way too cool here and it’s pissing me off”  

One of my friends likes to go onto the rooftop of her high rise apartment every night and scream to the city the exact balance in her bank account, and the amount she needs to get what she desires. I guess it’s her way of trying to manifest herself out of debt.

I’ve taken up the practice of doing my morning grooming, and skincare routine publicly in front of a  mirror right outside of my apartment. I just really need to send the message to people that I didn’t wake up like this.

I’ve been trying to get a grasp of the current political conundrum. So I figured that as I try to think it through I could get some exercise in the meantime. I’ve purchased a dozen tennis balls all in the colors red, white, and blue. I’ve been filming myself playing tennis against myself at the park. Maybe then I’ll understand what all this polarization means.

I like to peek out my window before work in the morning. I’m always checking out what everyone’s wearing on the street. This is the only way I can find the desire to get dressed in the morning. I usually choose to wear the most colors that I see recurring over the span of 10 minutes. I really prefer not to stand out around here.

The cost of living is really too damn high and I decided to do a cost analysis of my spending habits. Turns out I was spending more than I was making. So I came up with a scheme, I invested in some nice clothing, and I channel my inner kleptomania. They’ll never suspect someone in a nicely fitted suit. I’m saving tons.

When I’m out partying I have the tendency to make up facts about myself on the fly. It’s one of the only ways I can find myself enjoying an event. Each time I need to outdo myself, and figure out how to suspend people's disbelief. I mean this has got to be the true joy of partying.

Last week, I gave a presentation at the annual international conference organized by my NGO(Non governmental Organization). Whenever someone asked for my opinion on a subject I had to cut them off, and scream my answers into the mic  before the questions got too complex.

My uncle locked himself in a room for over a week in protest after I told him I was dating someone of a different race and culture.

About a year ago, I was finally able to purchase a painting by a very hot young artist. I’m telling you it seemed like I had been on the waitlist for what feels like an eternity. The painting fits perfectly in my T-374 spot at Shenzhen Qianhai Free Trade Zone warehouse.

I gave a name to each one of my individual abs and spoke to them gently at the gym.

I conceived the idea of designing a butterfly-shaped socialist town. Fortunately, as a well-known city planner, my team and I will soon be able to embark on this project once we obtain the necessary permits for construction.

My colleague asked me to provide a critical analysis of the history of Eastern European peoples  for a class she was teaching. I started by creating a small booklet with pages I intentionally left blank; starting with various shades of off-white and gradually transitioning into pure white as the book progressed.

Around ten other photographers and I were capturing images of an artist at work, and later, we also photographed her at home. I realize this might not be entirely ethical, but at my job, I feed that content to my hungry audience.

I started to brew on the question, 'Why not create a reality TV show?” It’s good money - definitely better than my current field. I’m still conceptualizing the idea, but here's the pitch:: What would you do if you could have unlimited power and authority for 24 hours? Not a bad idea right?  The prompt is still a work in progress. During the trial period for the pilot participants often ran out of ideas after the first 30 minutes of being omnipotent.

I compiled photos, and letters of family and friends and put them into a blender. I bottled it up and sold it as an innovative anti-aging cream.

As an Executive Administrator at his company - sorry, I can't disclose which one - I work alongside a Public Relations agent. The office space feels like it hasn’t been updated since the 1950s, and almost nothing is digitized. We shred so much paper every day that shredded paper has become the core of our existence. My lungs are filled with shredded paper dust.

I spread rumors about my previous workplaces. Since I work in the art world, I have been labeled as the "terrorist" of the art world.

My husband and I used to keep frozen rats in our freezer for our pet snake. We often forgot to inform our babysitters about the nature of the meat we were storing there. One day, we discovered that the rats had disappeared. I was too afraid to ask about it, so I pretended nothing had happened.

I often go to the United Nations building in midtown and sit cross legged in the elevator, I always peel several dozens of beetroots. I’ve been keeping up this practice for a matter of weeks now, going on into months I believe. My white apron always gets soaked in red liquid from the beet juice, and the elevator passengers' white shirts often become casualties of my activities, their contrasting brightness highlighted against the beetroot red.. There have been some complaints, but my aunt is higher up there so they’ve been letting it slide for the time being. Of course, this didn’t actually happen; no one would have allowed me to stay in the United Nations building for such a prolonged period.

We invited people to submit rumors, political interventions, and other actions anonymously for an art project. We’ve received hundreds of submissions and have been reading through them for days. We still have a long way to go before we finish reviewing all of them.

In 1982, I wrote a book on violence. A week after its release, I was raped and murdered in Lower Manhattan.

Last year, I stopped using menstrual blood-absorbing products, also known as feminine hygiene products. Since then, I’ve been arrested six times for damaging property, both public and private.

My friend likes to plant store-bought flowers in dirt mounds on the sidewalk whenever she moves to a new city. After planting them, she’d observe people’s reactions. I’m still not sure why she’s decided to keep this up. I should ask her next time.

I’ve been leaving heads that I sculpt on my days, outside of my house and around my neighborhood. I’m not sure who’s doing it, but they’ve been disappearing, and moving like hot cakes. I even left one at my local museum, hopefully that one didn’t wind up in the trash.